Wednesday, January 04, 2006 @ 9:25 PM
today was the last day of funeral.
they started bowing and kneeling and praying and i was standing there. it was an ugly scene, and i know a lot of people were disgusted by me. like, why won't she just kneel down and hold the joss stick? her grandpa's dead and she's still standing firm on her belief?
it's quite difficult for me too. 'cause there were over a hundred relatives there who were praying, and i was the only Christian standing.
i struggled a lot, and i really was confused of what to do. i felt quite tired.
i really just felt like running away from their unmerciful eyes.
they threw hell notes everywhere- and it started raining.
some of the hell notes on the ground had red dye. so when it rained, the rainwater washed off the red dye, and the ground was red.
when i saw the red dye on the floor.
and i was reminded of Jesus' blood.
how much more humiliation and tortures he had than me? to compare with all that He'd gone through- mine's as small as a almost nothing. and when i thought about His death on the cross for us, i felt stronger, refreshed, and i knew it was okayy- for God's with me.
trust in the Lord.